Thursday, 8 November 2007

Day 26

Juan E made me sit on the bed with him while the other two went out. He told me I was putting myself in a lot of danger and I should leave now before they came back and go home to England. I told him I wanted to help Juan S and couldn't leave him. He told me I only had a short time but to think about it before they came back. He said if I was going to stay to never let my laptop out of my sight as it may be a life-saver and he took my phone and programmed his number in telling me to phone him day or night if I needed to talk.

He wouldn't tell me how I was in danger and said not to mention this conversation with anyone else. He's gone now for supplies, I'm all alone and confused.

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Day 25

Juan's friends arrived late last night in a very old VW camper van. There were 22 men, women and children not including both the Juans squashed inside there. We could hear the VW coming from miles away the exhaust pipe was hanging off and scraping along the road in a hail of sparks and the engine was labouring. Then they tried to sneak all the people into the motel room even though everyone was awake for up to ten blocks away! No one seemed to pay any attention, it was as if it was an everyday occurrence squeezing 26 people into a motel room.

It was a squeeze too but no one seemed to mind, they were just grateful to get out of that hot and noisy vehicle. Everyone found some space on the floor and curled up to sleep I got on the bed with the 3 Juans and settled down to sleep. It was quite difficult as there was quite a bit of noise, some of it snoring and some mumbled chatter and the room stunk off sweaty bodies. I asked Juan if I could open the window but he told me we couldn't as the air conditioning wouldn't work properly so I had to grin and bare it.

I was sandwiched between Juan Sanite and Juan Eater. As I lay in the dark I looked at Juan E, he was a lot different than Juan S! His skin seemed a lot smoother and a lot less hairy, to be honest his stubble on his chin looked like it had been drawn on with a biro. His eyelashes were very long and his hair smelt nice. In fact he smelt nice full stop, sort of like my auntie Vera when she was going partying.

I fell asleep with my nose in Juan E's neck to get away from the awful room odour. When I awoke the room was empty apart from the 3 Juans. Juan S and Juan K were off out to get a new exhaust pipe and I was left alone with Juan E.

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Day 24

Juan has explained to me what will happen today.

His uncle, who is also called Juan he is Juan Kalote, will arrive late in the night with his new ranch hand who is also called Juan, he is Juan Eater! They will bring with them a few friends who are looking for a new life in the 'good ole US of A' (Juan's words) they will spend the night with us and it may be a squeeze but I am expert at el cucharear so that wont be a problem and it's only for one night.

Juan says that his friends pay towards their travel expenses and this in turn will help to pay me back what he has borrowed. He did say that they would have to make a few more trips now the dildos had gone tits up but I really didn't understand, something else lost in translation I expect!

I am really looking forward to meeting Juan's friends, I hope they are all like him!

Monday, 5 November 2007

Day 23

We are going on Wednesday!

Juan's uncle will be arriving sometime on Tuesday, he is bringing some people with him, they will spend the night with us then when we head south they will go their separate ways.

That gives me some more time to fill you in on what happened in New York. Juan says that they were trying to intimidate me when they pulled on the gloves in an aggressive manner. If that was the case it didn't work! How could I be more intimidated? I didn't know he was threatening to look inside my bottom! I was in a foreign country, in a small room, with two bullies, bleeding from my swollen lip and nearly naked with my dignity snatched from me! I was only there to save the boys from the RSbandits but I couldn't tell them that and put more people in danger.

The man wearing the latex gloves, when realising they weren't having any effect on me, took them off and threw them in the litter bin. He then gave me a plastic pot, took me back to my cell and told me I was going nowhere until my bowels were empty and the tub was full. I think by that he meant I had to poo in it, disgusting!

Well if that's what it was going to take to get out of there then so be it I thought to myself. Only problem was because I really wanted to go I couldn't if you get my drift! And did they really think the would find drugs in my faeces? I had an inhaler for my asthma, did they think I was going to poke that up my bottom? Why would I? I was very confused!

After about three hours I got the urge and filled the pot, how humiliating! To compound my humiliation as soon as I had finished someone came and took the pot away so they must have been watching me do it. Now they were going to hunt through my poo for my inhaler which was in my luggage, madness!

It was nearly midnight when they came back. They gave me my clothes and luggage and told me they weren't pressing charges. I asked if they found any drugs and was told not to push my luck. They gave me back the artifacts but told me I had to pay an import charge. This was more than the cost of the whole stock, Juan wouldn't be happy! He would also be unhappy as one of the treasured 'Black Double Dong Squirters' was missing and I wasn't asking for it back.

The two bullies escorted me to my connecting flight and waited with me until I got on it. They didn't apologise or wave good-bye.

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Day 22

Not been able to use the computer to post much over the last couple of days. There have been bad floods in Mexico and Juan has been tying the phone line up trying to contact his relatives. It seems everyone is OK which is good news, I'll try and catch up tomorrow!

Friday, 2 November 2007

Day 20

Two large angry men took me into a room and sat me at a table, the bag of religious artifacts was placed in the middle of the table, they sat opposite me. They asked me about the artifacts and I told them I was hoping to get an Internet business going and was trying to drum up business while on holiday. I got the idea they didn't believe me. They shouted a lot and called me pervert, then they started talking about drugs. They said no-one could be as stupid as to walk through customs with a bag of vibrators (I tried to tell them religious artifacts) so I must be hiding drugs.

They arrested me on suspicion of bringing drugs into the country and asked me if I had any hidden on my person. I laughed because I was naked apart from the boiler suit and one of the men hit me in the face. I stopped laughing.

It was their turn to laugh next as one of the men pulled out of his pocket a pair of latex gloves and pulled them onto his hands noisily with a 'snap'!

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Day 19

It was great lazing by the pool and jumping in the water to cool off. Eventually we were asked to leave because Juan insisted on wearing a thong and some people complained to the management saying it frightened their children. I could see their point. I could see his point too!

Later that evening we went out to eat and ended up in a bar that was full of cowboys and had one of those mechanical bucking bulls. Juan convinced me to try and I did quite well, we were having fun until Juan had an argument with one of the cowboys when he tried on his cowboy hat and we ended up running back to the motel. For a short while there it took my mind of my previous ordeal.

I had made my way through customs and first of all got in the line for the US citizens until I was directed to where I should have been. Juan was well in front of me by now and by the time I reached the front of the queue he had left the hall. I was beckoned forward by a rather large black lady in a uniform. I smiled at her, she didn't smile back. She asked me about my visit, where I was staying, what I would be doing and then she asked me to open the holdall. All hell broke loose then, men arrived from no-where and grabbed me and the bag and took us to a tiny white painted room. The room had no windows and a very heavy looking door, I was left here for what seemed an eternity until a grumpy looking fellow arrived with what looked like a paper boiler suit. He waited until I took off all my clothes then told me to put it on. It was cold and didn't fit well and when he left the room I started to cry.

This is all very hard for me. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow.