Sunday 14 October 2007

Day 1 part 2

I couldn't wait to tell you something about my adventure and how it all started so here goes:

I spent most of my formative years in public schooling until at sixteen my Mother left my Father for her yoga teacher and a temporary cash flow problem ensued. I stayed with Daddy because "the bitch doesn't want a fuckwit (whatever that is) hanging around her apron strings!", I knew she didn't really say this and it was only Daddy letting off steam! As the money was tight to start with I was put into the local college after I finished my GCSE's.

I thought it would be hard to fit in at a new school but the lads embraced me. They all had pet names for me like; prick, dickhead and posh-fucker. It was nice to fit in! Tiny, a rather larger fellow unlike his name suggests, used to hug me every time he saw me. I don't think he actually knew how strong he was as it sometimes hurt when he grabbed me around my neck and pounded his knuckles into my scalp and sometimes when he twisted my nose it bled after the cracking sound. Oh well, a small price to pay for friendship.

I'm not really sure about my relationship with the girls. They always seemed to scowl at me and call me 'the proper count'! I told them on numerous occasions that though my Uncle was Knighted it didn't have any bearing on my title they just ignored me so I indulged them.

I had never been out with them socially as they had never asked so I was surprised and pleased when they asked me out to a special function. It was an annual event and it celebrated the 'beating of the meat', a local tradition apparently. I'd never heard of it myself but it sounded very popular and I was thrilled to find out it was a fancy dress event.

They all suggested that I would make a great James Bond and should turn up in a dinner suit and black tie. I arranged to meet them a at a night club in the seedier end of town, somewhere I'd never been before; The Ring of Fire!

2 comments:

Sabi said...

Hey! Whats the name of the club? Sounds like a hot night out, can't wait to hear how it went!

Christian said...

Sabi; The club is called The Ring of Fire. An odd name I grant you and I never found out why!